Helping Highly Sensitive People Manage Emotions

Humans are naturally equipped with an early warning system to innately recognize threats. Feelings such as fear and anger are responses to these perceived threats. Some people, known as highly sensitive people (HSP), are more sensitive to these warning triggers, experience them more acutely, and may have inappropriately strong reactions to them. While HSP are often creative, caring, and intuitive, they also often have emotional responses, such as panic or anger, that outweigh the reality of a situation.

First studied by clinical psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, in 1991, it is now believed that 20% of the population is HSP. Neuroscience research has shown that being highly sensitive may be genetic and may be linked to the “love” hormone, oxytocin, and the “stress” hormone, norepinephrine. Recent research suggests that HSP pick up more information and process it at a higher volume than nervous systems are designed for, resulting in a sense of being overwhelmed.

Dr. Aron says HSP feel and process everything more deeply, which can be overpowering: “That’s why we need to learn emotional regulation skills.” Emotional regulation is something we all do every day, but for HSP becoming aware of emotional regulation strategies and applying them are important first steps for managing outsize responses.

People who are highly sensitive should work to notice and accept their feelings without shame, create a process for coping with strong emotions, and trust that, with awareness, these feelings will pass. Noticing the physiological changes that accompany the onset of a reaction, such as heart rate or muscle tension, can help manage emotion at an earlier stage. Breathing strategies, mindfulness, distraction, and depersonalization (reframing a situation to be less personal) are all tools that can help control how strong a feeling gets. Mindfulness, in particular, can help HSP be more aware of sensations in the moment and observe them without judgment.

For those who live or work with people who are highly sensitive, interactions may become difficult. Experts say being aware that the sensitivity of HSP is biological, not a choice, can help improve relationships. HSP prefer routine to surprises and respond best to feedback or criticism when words are carefully chosen and compassionate.